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Relationship therapy, or marriage counselling as it is sometimes known enables a space to develop in which both partners can freely express what they are experiencing in their relationship.

Expressing your feelings, and more importantly having them understood may be difficult for you at home for many reasons.
  • Perhaps you feel that your partner simply doesn't listen or try to understand when you attempt to express what you are feeling.
  • Perhaps you feel attacked when your partner states their needs; you may even feel that they are being selfish.
  • Perhaps there are sexual problems in the relationship and you are not comfortable, or you feel ashamed about discussing such matters.
  • Perhaps sexual problems in the relationship are inviting you to feel unattractive, unwanted and insecure (It is often the case that sexual issues are triggered by relationship dynamics or issues relating to intimacy)
  • Perhaps you or your partner are struggling to deal with issues relating to the children in your lives that are a result of earlier relationships.
  • Perhaps you feel incredibly jealous and insecure and are unable to accept the responses from your partner as being truthful.
  • Perhaps it is hard for you to state your needs or challenge your partners bad behaviour
  • Perhaps you feel if you do challenge your partners seemingly inappropriate behaviour that they will leave
  • perhaps your partner appears to be incredibly insensitive to your needs
  • Perhaps your partner is simply to busy to allow you to share time together
  • Perhaps at a subconscious level one or both of you are drawn to relationships where there is a high level of tension. This of course could contribute to you not resolving these issues.

So how can a therapist help?

The therapist’s role is to sit with you in the space that is created, and in a non-judgmental way support both partners equally to communicate and express their feelings and the reasons why they believe the relationship isn't working. 'This part of the process may of course invite strong feelings to emerge and it is the therapists role to support and enable this to be a process of recovery, and not a process of shame and blame.'

The therapist will often offer observations of your relationship dynamic, highlighting where necessary insights of destructive patterns that may not be noticeable to those within the relationship.

It is often very difficult for both partners involved to listen without interruption as their partner speaks freely of what it is that they perceive to be the problem. It is also very difficult to accept that we ourselves may have inadvertently contributed to whatever has caused the rupture.
Both partners however will always be given the chance to express whatever emotions they may be experiencing in response to their partner's disclosure.

'By communicating, you will aim to better understand not only your own feelings and needs but those of your partner too, and of course the impact of your partners needs upon yourself.'


Understanding the complexities of our relationships can be hard work at times, but it is work that is often rewarding. I am hoping that these few words assist you to better understand what you may experience as you attempt to support your relationship.


I currently offer Relationship Therapy for £50 per hour

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A MEMBER OF UKCP, BACP AND SCARBOROUGH PSYCHOTHERAPY TRAINING INSTITUTE

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